Is Celibacy a Spiritual Gift or a Curse?

“I scored an eleven out of twelve for celibacy,” I shared in class as we discussed results from our spiritual gifts tests. As the words left my mouth, the reactions of my college classmates quickly spewed forward: looks of confusions, statements of astonishment, praise for something they did not understand. For most, celibacy would be more of a curse rather than a gift.

The “gift of celibacy” is something I am neither particularly proud of nor certain I will keep, but as for now, I could care less. I have always liked boys, but I never seem to like them enough. I may marry someone one day, but I am content with being single for now.

Around me, my peers are obsessed with dating and finding ‘the one.’ It feels like everyone is constantly worried about love and hung over the desire to have a significant other. I agree that a relationship can be enjoyable, but if you are in a season of singleness, you should really see it as a blessing.

‘It is never selfish to take the time to discover more about yourself.’

When you are single, you have more time and flexibility to focus on yourself. It is never selfish to take the time to discover more about yourself. You can uncover new interests, recognize what inspires you, curate your dreams, and learn to be at peace in your own company. There is an abundance of wonderful perks of being single that are easily overlooked when your mind is wrapped around the thought of another person. It is a liberating feeling to understand who you are what you are passionate about in life.

In addition, singleness means you do not need to compromise in order to please another person. Your goals do not need to align with the goals of anyone else. It will help you recognize your true priorities and interests in life instead of going along with the ideals of someone else.

Then, when you do find yourself in a relationship, you will be able to enjoy the other person’s company without being dependent on them. You can share time with each other without being hung at the hip. Because you recognized the joy of being alone while single, you can also find the same joy during the times of being alone despite being in a relationship. You will survive not talking to your significant others for a few hours without wanting to curl up in a ball. Knowing your priorities, you will know how deeply they align to your happiness, and you will not let another person take that away from you.

I do not think relationships are bad. I know that humans were created to be with one another. However, if you have an unhealthy mindset, then I believe you will have unhealthy relationships with people. We need to stop pressuring one another to be in romantic relationships. Some people should not be in relationships for a period of time or for their entire life. In some instances, people thrive on singleness and do not deserve being reprimanded for their decision.