My First Friendsgiving – Millenial Influx

For most people in America, Thanksgiving is a family holiday. The predominant image of the season is a family sitting around a table, praying, and passing food around as they laugh and make conversation.

There are several reasons for why Thanksgiving is a family holiday, but for the most part it is just something that is rooted in tradition. Add this to the fact that my family had not seen my older brother and me since we went away to school, and it is no wonder they were so shocked when I asked to spend Thanksgiving with my friends this year.

“Absolutely not,” my mom said without giving it a second thought. When I asked why, she told me that Thanksgiving is meant for people to be with their families, and I could not abandon my family like that. I pointed out that most of the “family” we were going to spend time with on Thanksgiving were my parent’s friends from college, so I did not see the difference between my parents hanging out with their friends on Thanksgiving and me doing the same. This flummoxed my mom for a little, but she but she stuck by her guns and told me that I could hang out with my friends the rest of break. So for the first time, I had two Thanksgivings.

Thanksgiving for my family consists of eating, playing Taboo, watching football, falling asleep, and then heading home from my godparent’s house with tons of leftovers in stow. It was these leftovers that I brought to the next day’s Friendsgiving.

When I showed up to my friend’s house it already smelled like Thanksgiving. I was the last of the group of fourteen to arrive and everyone had already placed their leftovers from the previous day on the table. After I added my contribution to the table there was turkey, ham, pulled pork, fried chicken, baked chicken, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, green beans, stuffing, apple pie, and sweet potato pie.

It was a great day, and one that felt almost exactly like Thanksgiving. However, there is something special about being able to spend a time like this with your friends. Often, we decide what the plan is in advance and we don’t meet up until we have a certain plan in place. However, this was a day where I got to really spend a whole day together and just enjoy the presence of my friends. Friendsgiving was a chance for me to truly be thankful for my friends, because on this day I realized how special they truly are to me.

Reflecting on my Thanksgiving vacation, I am glad my mom did not let me simply spend Thanksgiving with my friends. Often we take our family for granted and believe that we would rather just spend time with our friends. We see spending time with family as an obligation, not a privilege. I am glad that there is a day that is a family holiday, where I “have” to spend time with my family. This day shows me how lucky I am to have them and serves to remind me that I love them and that they love me.

Friendsgiving is an increasingly common event for Millennials. I would encourage my peers to make Friendsgiving a habit, but also not to let it replace Thanksgiving. Our family and friends are both important aspects of our life that shape us and continue to influence who we are today. Friendsgiving and Thanksgiving complement each other, and should allow us to appreciate all the people in our lives that are special to us.

Homeschooler in the Real World

Emma Folts, a sophomore at Wheaton College, shares her experience about her transition into college and how homeschool has both helped and hindered her.
How has your homeschool experience benefitted you, especially in your transition into college?
I think the one thing that homeschooling did that was really helpful as I entered college was that it taught me time management. As a homeschooler I had the same freedom as a college student has to put things off during the day and go see a friend instead. Since I had that experience, I knew the cost of that.
Also, personal responsibility and accountability with assignments. I feel like a lot of the other students had more expectations for gentler grading and that the professor would give them retakes or extensions, but that wasn’t something that ever happened to me in school. That learning curve wasn’t added because I never had it the other way. I think another thing was that because I was homeschooled, I was familiar with the format of teaching and then studying on my own.
Did you see any issues with your transition socially?
I think that homeschooling had two ramifications for me socially. One was helpful, one was hurtful.
It was really helpful because as a homeschooler, I had spent a lot of time realizing and developing who I was as a person and learning to recognize people who were being themselves, and those were the people I sought out as friends. Friendship as a homeschooler takes a lot more investment. I knew I was choosier with my friends which made me a lot less anxious and a lot more content.
The only real negative impact of the social bit was that I was really used to getting to choose the time I got to spend with people. As a homeschooler I spent a lot of time with people, but that time was controlled by me. As a college student, I found that you can’t really control the time you spend with people and alone time is not really available. Learning to deal with that was a lot harder than anticipated.
Any last comments on homeschool and how it has affected your college experience?
I think homeschooling is really helpful, however it does take a slightly increased amount of advocacy with your peers when you’re entering into college. I think a lot of people come in with certain assumptions about homeschool, especially students. You’re going to get a lot of, ‘oh my gosh, you don’t seem like a homeschooled person!’ [You can’t] take that too personally and explain your experience so that friends can understand it’s an important piece of you, though it might not look like the homeschooling that they’ve seen.
My encouragement to anyone who is a homeschooler transitioning into college is to realize the benefit that you have having been homeschooled, and to realize that the bit of advocacy and explaining that you need to do with your peers is totally normal and that it’s not a big deal. Once they understand your experience, it’s not something I’ve experienced being looked down on for.