I’ve heard some people denounce the existence of Santa Claus. I’ve heard people bash the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and even leprechauns. And I have to say, I think I’ve handled it pretty well. Haters gonna hate, and it’s just one of those life lessons you learn as you grow older. But one thing I will NOT tolerate is people discrediting the reality of Post Spring Break Depression. It is real, it is alive, and it is on the move. Saying it isn’t so isn’t just ignorance, it’s harmful ignorance. Everyone knows the first step to recovery is admittance, but no one’s going to admit they have PSBD if they are told it’s an imaginary disease.
Think of how horrific it was when someone saw your imaginary friend for the first time. Awkward. Nobody wants people to know they have an imaginary disease. If the disease is imaginary, so is the cure, and therefore it’s untreatable and potentially contagious for the rest of your life! That means no friends for you (except for the imaginary ones of course).
But how do I know it’s a real disease and not a fake one? Well, how do you know the wind is real? You feel it; you see its effects. In the same way, you can see the effects PSBD has on students all throughout campus. Here are a few signs to look for in friends and in yourself:
- Refusing to peel off skin that died via sunburn… Even though it’s gross and looks bad, infected individuals often prefer to let their skin peel slowly rather than erase all evidence that they were exposed to intense rays of sun. The flaky, dead skin reminds them that the heat was real and that there is a world without sleeting rain and cloudy skies. There is hope amidst their oppression.
- Wasting hours on Facebook looking at photos of the previous week… People with PSBD often spend inexcusable amounts of time browsing through pictures of themselves from their vacation, vicariously reliving their experience. This may also lead to malnutrition and/or bad grades
- Leaving unseasonable items littered on your floors and throughout your closet… There’s snow on the ground and your friend has flip-flops lying around? The wind chill temperature is in the single digits, and your sundress is sprawled out over your bed? And what do you need your sunscreen for? The five minutes it takes you to walk to class? If this sounds familiar, you or your friend has got it bad.
- Your motivation has gone missing. This is not a time to blame your imaginary friend; he/she didn’t hide it. A lack of motivation is the most obvious and pervasive side effect of PSBD. Working out, homework, relationships, and hygiene all seem to be insurmountable ventures, and so they are intentionally avoided.
So now that you know the side effects, what is the solution? Doctors claim the only viable cure is transferring to a school in an area where sunny skies and warm breezes are the norm. Avoid attending colleges in Northern parts of the country, no matter how good they might look on your résumé or how close they are to your family. Chances are you’ll end up unemployed anyways, and your relatives would much rather fly to Florida than get in the car for a short road trip to visit you in your misery.